I’m not listening to a word he’s saying—now you could think this is rude, but it’s been two hours, and even when he did let me speak, he was only contemplating what he’d say next. So while he yapped on about how sometimes he finishes really quickly, and sometimes he never finishes at all—first date might I just point out—I was leant back in my chair, arms crossed over my body, tight lipped, debating in my head whether or not my discomfort was justified. I’m freezing, but if I show that, he’ll ask for the sixth time, why I’ve declined going back to his house “for a drink, nothing else.“
All of this happened not 45 minutes after being delivered the line, “boundaries are very important to me, I’d never cross anyone’s.“
And yet, despite all of this (and more) I’m still flip flopping over whether I’m being unfair. Am I exaggerating? Maybe I just misunderstood.
If at any point on a date, you’re rationalising if your feeling uncomfortable is justified. Just leave.
Read that again.
Now, maybe you’re thinking, girl, don’t go out with red flags?? Well, this, dear reader, was a definitive example of ‘the nice guy’.
I’ve actually been on a run of dates with the ‘nice guys’ and I’m thrilled to report I no longer believe in love. That’s actually untrue, it’s going to take more than bland, lustful, mediocre men to kill the hopeless lover girl in me.
But there’s a common theme with these men. (Sweeping generalisation incoming) they just lack personalities. If I scroll another profile of, I’ll fall for you if you can split the G, you can win me over with beer, and need a rave partner I might actually combust.
Would provide me with some excellent two truths and a lie material at the very least.
The ones that do have a personality use it for pure evil (see also, My Life) and the ones without, complain we don’t give them attention (see also, male loneliness epidemic). All I’m looking for is a conversation with a man that I’m not absolutely carrying.
It’s almost like going to a zoo where you’re promised to see a pride of wolves but they’re always sleeping and no matter how many times you go, you never actually see anything other than an ear that could be a leaf in the distance. Make a joke, laugh at mine, I don’t know just do something interesting.
Just a quick PSA to men, being silly goofy getting drunk every night, is not a hobby. Hating books in your twenties, is not a personality trait. In fact, hating anything that gives others joy, not a flex at all.
Get a grip my god.
You’re an A D U L T.
But, it is with regret that the men with a little bit of spice appeal to me, so I will probably continue to make poor decisions on account of them actually displaying somewhat glimmers of personality. Sure, it’s almost always a reflection of manipulation, love bombing, and gaslighting, but they make it really fun to start with.
Do I have a problem?
Don’t answer that.